What American Votes Are Saying

There are a lot of wacky Republican and Democrat candidates jockeying for a chance to be our ruler leader after Obama's second term. Since I don't think many of their fans have thought through what a vote for them actually means, I am providing a handy translator:

A vote for Donald Trump means:
"Screw that 'Land of the Free', Home of the Brave crap, I'm scared! Scared enough to vote for a guy who's been an idiot and a pathetic bully since kindergarten.Because I want to make the world nervous about an unstable wanker having nuclear capability."

A vote for Hillary Clinton means:
"Lie to me."

A vote for Rand Paul means:
"I like to call myself a Libertarian and I am (aside from wanting government to be the lifestyle police)."

A vote for Bernie Sanders means:
"Only the government can make me safe and they can only do it by controlling every aspect of my life. If you don't need an illusion of safety or want to be controlled, tough."

A vote for Mike Huckabee means:
"What the heck! (Honey, let's vote and then take our salaries to the casino and run them up!)"

A vote for (generic Republican) means:
"I want an amoral government to make everyone moral by legislation and screw the Constitution!"

A vote for (generic Democrat) means:
"I want a dangerous government to make everyone live according to my ideas of safety and screw the Constitution!"