Sunday, August 23, 2015

Washington state drivers are the worst people in the world

Yesterday, I rode my motorcycle down to Portland for the day to visit family (and shop for books at Powell's). I had a great time, met my K00L nephew for the first time (and got some great information from his sister about dragons).

I realized later that I REALLY like the people in Portland. And that Washington drivers are the worst people in the world.

I think what I liked about Portland is that people seemed to be making an effort to be nice. From riding around to wandering through Powell's bookshelves, even when people were kind of blundering along, they weren't being dicks about it. Even the homeless people were polite and friendly. In Washington state, people seem to be in their own little bubble. Most of the drivers seemed downright courteous.

But as soon as I reentered Washington state, the driving went to crap. There were traffic slowdowns where there shouldn't have been, caused by the simple fact that everyone was crowding into the fast lane, which then went the same speed as the slow lane. Rolling roadblocks were created out of simple, needless stupidity. You can be behind somebody who is the one slowing down the fast lane, flashing your brights and honking and it doesn't matter.Because they Just Don't Care.

Mind you, this started happening out in the boondocks before I got to the high traffic areas. Later, as I neared the end of my ride home, there were some last bits of annoying self absorption to deal with:

Mister "In my culture we don't have to watch out for smaller vehicles"

The driver who I initially thought wouldn't let me merge just to be a jerk. Later, I decided that she was completely unconscious of other drivers and vehicles, unaware that my lane needed to merge in with hers. Yeah, she got to deal with my high beams in her rear view mirror for a couple miles.

Washington drivers ARE the worst.

P.S. And than you road construction guys for having surprise graded pavement on an exit curve for motorcycles to discover in the dark.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Vote for me for President in 2016

I know a lot of people are already stressed about the 2016 elections and it's not even 2016 yet. The Republicans are likely to nominate a barking mad loon who could make North Korea look sane. The Democrats are considering carefully which moonbat THEY are going to nominate. Everybody is already tense, worried about which of their rights are going to be under attack after the inauguration.

So I am writing to offer a less stressful alternative. Write in my name as candidate for the Pragmatic Anarchists' party. If elected I am prepared to serve.

Which of your rights will be under attack? None of them. I don't care who you marry or date (wink) and whether you will have offspring or not (though if you are smart I kind of hope you will). I don't care if you own and carry guns or which ones, as long as you don't endanger people with them. I will fight HARD for the elimination of all currently existing laws against victimless crimes and other government micromanagement.

You see, it turns out that the best way to protect your rights isn't to vote for a candidate who protects your rights and attacks everyone else's. The best way to protect your rights is to vote for a candidate who hates people who attack anyone's rights.

Don B. Pragmatic Anarchist write-in candidate for 2016. Tell all your friends!