Tuesday, April 15, 2014

When you talk to a book lover....

When we say:
“I'm sorry.”
We mean:
“Please go away, you're keeping me from enjoying this book.”

When we say:
“That's interesting.”
We mean:
“That's interesting...but not as interesting as this book.”

When we say:
“I'm going to work now.”
We mean:
“I'm going to earn money so I can keep this house around my books.”

When we say:
“I'm going to the gym now.”
We mean:
“I'm going to exercise enough to stay healthy enough to read many more books.”

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Come to Jack Falstaff's Crossfit, Zumba and Yoga Studio!

Jack Falstaff, owner of Jack Falstaff's Crossfit, Zumba and Yoga Studio, had this to say about his facility's state of the art exercise equipment:
I have procured two of them; two I am sure I have paid,
two treadmills for fitness buffs. I tell thee what,
sir, if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse.
Thou knowest my old ward; here I lay and thus I bore my
point. Four treadmills for sweaty exercise lined up for at me--

These four lined all a-front, and vigorously tested
by me. I made me no more ado but tried all the seven
treadmills at once, thus.

Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These nine
treaddmills that I told thee of--

What about the importance of watching what you eat? People complain that hunger has the power to prick them on to poor nutritional choices. How do you answer that?

   Can hunger set to a leg? no: or an arm? no: or
take away the grief of a sprint? no. Hunger hath no
skill in food preparation, then? no. What is
hunger? a word. What is in that word hunger? what
is that hunger? air. A trim reckoning! Who hath it?
he that lunched at midday. Doth he feel it? no.
Doth he hear it? no. 'Tis insensible, then. Yea,
to the dead. But will it not live with the living?
no. Why? detraction will not suffer it. Therefore
I'll none of it. Hunger is a mere scutcheon: and so
ends my catechism.